Moms and dads need support. They need understanding and encouragement. Though God uniquely and wonderfully made each child, parents of AD/HD children deal with many of the same parenting issues. Support groups for these parents can really help, are widely available and come in all formats.
It’s circle time at Gymboree. Here we go again. I dread this part of class. My son is supposed to be singing with the group. Instead, he’s off to the side running as if a motor drives him. Only his motor isn’t stopped and in park like the rest of the kids. I sigh, make a beeline for his ever-moving body and corral him. It’s just not easy with Timmy. It’s only 11 a.m., and I’m already exhausted.
Timmy’s mom suspects he has AD/HD.
Nothing is simple when it comes to dealing with Timmy at home or at preschool. The preschool teacher keeps telling her to take him to a psychologist for an evaluation. She is sure he is AD/HD. He interrupts, doesn’t stay on task, is easily frustrated and is restless and fidgety. At home, Timmy is a handful.
Timmy’s mom feels alone.
She often feels like a bad mother who can’t control her child. One on one Timmy is a sweet boy who wants to do well and loves life. However, in social settings, he’s a wheel in motion. Mom sees the “looks” from the other mothers. She hears the annoyed tone in the voice of the preschool teacher, and she’s constantly called out of the church service to deal with Timmy’s behavior.
Timmy’s dad thinks Timmy is all boy.
He recalls being rowdy and out-of-control himself as a child. ”Don’t worry”, he tells his wife, “he’ll be fine.” However, mom worries and is the one dealing with Timmy most of the day.
Moms (and dads) like Timmy’s need support.
They don’t need pity. They need understanding and encouragement. There are support groups for parents with AD/HD kids. Therapists, parents or health professionals lead some support groups. Some groups bring in speakers. Others have structured meetings with questions and answers. Still others are informal or educational and help parents know what resources are available.
You aren’t alone as a parent of an AD/HD child.
God uniquely and wonderfully made your child, but other parents deal with the same issues as you. It helps to have others to turn to when life feels a little crazy.
In the middle of all your parenting effort, don’t forget to try and take a little time for yourself.
Talk to a friend. Read. Go to a bookstore. Hire a sitter for an hour. Pray, meditate and ask God to give you the grace you need to be the kind of parent your child needs. Take short breaks when possible; it will help your mental health.
Dr. Mintle – author, professor, Approved Supervisor and Clinical Member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy – is a speaker and media personality, as well as a licensed clinical social worker with 20 years in psychotherapy practice. For more articles by Dr. Linda S. Mintle, go to Counseling and Advice on the Health Channel.
